The Migrants are Coming! The Migrants are Coming!

Recently, the entitled, affluent, white residents on Martha’s Island narrowly avoided a disaster of epic proportions.  Apparently, 50 (that’s f-i-f-t-y) illegal aliens were FedExed by Governor DeSantis to the enclave of the rich and famous.  Panic and a mass meltdown ensued.

Prior to their unwelcome arrival on the island, the Emergency Alert System (ELS) was initiated to warn residents of the impending invasion. Doors were locked, windows shuttered and beloved pets were rushed to safety. Terrified residents immediately fled to the safety of their panic rooms where they were forced to eat caviar on stale Ritz crackers and drink tap water!  Oh, the horror!

One brave and intrepid resident, Dicky Dinkins, drove his 2023 Tesla Founders Series Roadster through the neighborhood, yelling “THE MIGRANTS ARE COMING!”  “THE MIGRANTS ARE COMING!”  Dicky desperately wanted to warn rich neighbors playing golf and the swells munching lobster rolls on air-conditioned verandas that the end was nearer than they imagined. Dicky also wanted to showcase his brand new $250,000 toy. Two birds-one stone.

Ironically, Martha’s Vineyard is a sanctuary city.  According to their mantra which they proudly proclaim: