Choose Your Own Adventure: Russian Soldier Edition

You were born in the year 2000 on the edge of Moscow in the City of Podolsk. It has been 11 years since the Fall of the Berlin Wall. Your birth coincides with Vladimir Putin’s first year of his first term as Russian leader. You have only heard horror stories of previous Russian leaders from distant, elderly relatives. Now you’re 22 years old, a proud Russian Male, smart enough to stay away from the Russian Mob, not quite bright enough to go to the local University. Your parents are not well…